Between an impoverished, isolated life and an energy consuming , domineering patriarchal care, I look for options of independence. I write as cryptically as I can. Only an idiotic or a very brave person can be too transparent in an evil world. It would be dishonest to say that this world is entirely an unhappy place. I acknowledge all the good things and happiness that life brings. But like I wrote about fate in an earlier post, one does really think about one's own agency( not for those who remember theory first), I just mean to say one's own self realization of our own ability to do something.
In Malayalam we do have an example : after learning all the 'marmam'(or knowing the secrets of body) the marmani master is unable to make love. He fears that in every part of the body there are key marmams( or where powers are concentrated) and can't be touched. I mean to talk about being too much conscious of life which in fact takes away your ability to live life with joy. One becomes too conscious and careful. In marmani's case it can be love making and in the case of ordinary human it can be the ability to love. Should one suspend thoughts and move on with( what could be the right word? Umm? the word passion doesn't sound to convey what I want to say properly) which may end the impoverished isolated life and you don't have to be a full prisoner of traditional institutions?
It is hard to decide, especially when life looks so predictable in front of you. I think one doesn't need to be an expert in Historical knowledge to know that only big tragedies are not predictable in life. We can always predict the rest , our own inability to succeed and so on easily , there you are aware of the structure and your own powerlessness. Ironically, it is the same realization which makes you further powerless.
In Malayalam we do have an example : after learning all the 'marmam'(or knowing the secrets of body) the marmani master is unable to make love. He fears that in every part of the body there are key marmams( or where powers are concentrated) and can't be touched. I mean to talk about being too much conscious of life which in fact takes away your ability to live life with joy. One becomes too conscious and careful. In marmani's case it can be love making and in the case of ordinary human it can be the ability to love. Should one suspend thoughts and move on with( what could be the right word? Umm? the word passion doesn't sound to convey what I want to say properly) which may end the impoverished isolated life and you don't have to be a full prisoner of traditional institutions?
It is hard to decide, especially when life looks so predictable in front of you. I think one doesn't need to be an expert in Historical knowledge to know that only big tragedies are not predictable in life. We can always predict the rest , our own inability to succeed and so on easily , there you are aware of the structure and your own powerlessness. Ironically, it is the same realization which makes you further powerless.
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